I have been working on my memoir over the past few months, writing about my experiences since my husband Claude died by suicide over five years ago. On the surface as I have faced this unimaginable loss it might appear that feeling any sense of gratitude would be elusive or unattainable. However, as I review … More Grief And Gratitude This Thanksgiving
I felt a sense of peace being back home in Boulder after my awesome visit to Asheville. My heart felt enriched and satisfied. Waking up in my comfy bed that first day back I felt a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm, ready to start this new chapter, this new decade. As I descended the … More Following My Courageous Heart – Part Two
I am releasing the pause button and returning to my writing practice. It has been over four weeks now since I wrote my last post: Claude’s Path to Suicide. I knew it would be hard, but writing that post was demanding and exhausting beyond what I had imagined. To write it, I had to go … More Releasing Resistance: The Way To Joy
Photo by: Bill Clark I have been lingering in some substantial resistance to recounting the story of what happened to my husband Claude. How did such a vibrant man who loved life, seemingly had it all and actually feared death to the core of his being arrive at such a desperate place that he felt suicide … More Claude’s Path To Suicide
Why anger? Is suicide seen as the ultimate form of betrayal? Is it that on the surface it appears that those who committed the act had a choice? I read a blog a few weeks ago in which the blogger’s condemnation of Robins William’s suicide was pretty apparent. My sense is that he is not … More The Intimate Link Between Anger and Suicide
With Independence Day upon us, it feels appropriate to crack the hatch wide open. Giving myself permission and the freedom to start revealing my thoughts and feelings as a suicide survivor and beginning to tell a more detailed account of my story relating to Claude’s death. I see this taking place over several blog posts; … More Claude’s Suicide: Freedom To Speak My Truth
One more year rolls around and I notice that Father’s Day still tugs at my heart. My dad died 12 years ago. It saddens me that I was not able to be there with him when he passed, but thankfully he was not alone, other family members where there including my mom, surrounding him with … More Layers Of Grief On Father’s Day
I am remembering with such sweetness, my wedding day with Claude. Yesterday would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. That day was infused with anticipation, stunning clear blues skies on the coast of Northern CA, the sound of the crashing ocean waves below us as we said our wedding vows surrounded by an intimate group of family and … More Sweet Memories Of Our Wedding Day
No matter how you slice it, saying goodbye is never easy. It’s painful! We have many situations in our lives that require us to say goodbye to what has been familiar and most important to us. It can be a final goodbye as with death or at times it is just a change in the … More Saying Goodbye
I am reflecting back on this month of May as it draws to a close. There are changes that on the surface feel challenging, yet going deeper can be experienced as exciting for the potential they hold. Typically change can bring with it resistance in our human experience. Change can trigger fear of the unknown. … More Trusting Change