For days now it seems that every time I look out the window or sit out on my patio I see the graceful and seemingly effortless flight of a Yellow Swallowtail butterfly. On my morning walks I see tiny white butterflies, sometimes in groups, that dance and fly as if they are celebrating life in … More What The Butterfly Can Teach Us About Grief
I felt a sense of peace being back home in Boulder after my awesome visit to Asheville. My heart felt enriched and satisfied. Waking up in my comfy bed that first day back I felt a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm, ready to start this new chapter, this new decade. As I descended the … More Following My Courageous Heart – Part Two
Photo by: Bill Clark I have been lingering in some substantial resistance to recounting the story of what happened to my husband Claude. How did such a vibrant man who loved life, seemingly had it all and actually feared death to the core of his being arrive at such a desperate place that he felt suicide … More Claude’s Path To Suicide
Why anger? Is suicide seen as the ultimate form of betrayal? Is it that on the surface it appears that those who committed the act had a choice? I read a blog a few weeks ago in which the blogger’s condemnation of Robins William’s suicide was pretty apparent. My sense is that he is not … More The Intimate Link Between Anger and Suicide
With Independence Day upon us, it feels appropriate to crack the hatch wide open. Giving myself permission and the freedom to start revealing my thoughts and feelings as a suicide survivor and beginning to tell a more detailed account of my story relating to Claude’s death. I see this taking place over several blog posts; … More Claude’s Suicide: Freedom To Speak My Truth
One more year rolls around and I notice that Father’s Day still tugs at my heart. My dad died 12 years ago. It saddens me that I was not able to be there with him when he passed, but thankfully he was not alone, other family members where there including my mom, surrounding him with … More Layers Of Grief On Father’s Day
I am remembering with such sweetness, my wedding day with Claude. Yesterday would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. That day was infused with anticipation, stunning clear blues skies on the coast of Northern CA, the sound of the crashing ocean waves below us as we said our wedding vows surrounded by an intimate group of family and … More Sweet Memories Of Our Wedding Day
No matter how you slice it, saying goodbye is never easy. It’s painful! We have many situations in our lives that require us to say goodbye to what has been familiar and most important to us. It can be a final goodbye as with death or at times it is just a change in the … More Saying Goodbye
I am reflecting back on this month of May as it draws to a close. There are changes that on the surface feel challenging, yet going deeper can be experienced as exciting for the potential they hold. Typically change can bring with it resistance in our human experience. Change can trigger fear of the unknown. … More Trusting Change
While we are caught in the perpetual waves of grief we are called to go deep, to determine what we are made of. In the process, learning who we are as a spirit or soul and why we are here. Always holding in our consciousness that we are much more than this personality self. Much … More Enchanted by the Past: Caught In The Perpetual Waves Of Grief