Photo by: Bill Clark I have been lingering in some substantial resistance to recounting the story of what happened to my husband Claude. How did such a vibrant man who loved life, seemingly had it all and actually feared death to the core of his being arrive at such a desperate place that he felt suicide … More Claude’s Path To Suicide
Why anger? Is suicide seen as the ultimate form of betrayal? Is it that on the surface it appears that those who committed the act had a choice? I read a blog a few weeks ago in which the blogger’s condemnation of Robins William’s suicide was pretty apparent. My sense is that he is not … More The Intimate Link Between Anger and Suicide
One more year rolls around and I notice that Father’s Day still tugs at my heart. My dad died 12 years ago. It saddens me that I was not able to be there with him when he passed, but thankfully he was not alone, other family members where there including my mom, surrounding him with … More Layers Of Grief On Father’s Day
I am remembering with such sweetness, my wedding day with Claude. Yesterday would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. That day was infused with anticipation, stunning clear blues skies on the coast of Northern CA, the sound of the crashing ocean waves below us as we said our wedding vows surrounded by an intimate group of family and … More Sweet Memories Of Our Wedding Day
No matter how you slice it, saying goodbye is never easy. It’s painful! We have many situations in our lives that require us to say goodbye to what has been familiar and most important to us. It can be a final goodbye as with death or at times it is just a change in the … More Saying Goodbye
While we are caught in the perpetual waves of grief we are called to go deep, to determine what we are made of. In the process, learning who we are as a spirit or soul and why we are here. Always holding in our consciousness that we are much more than this personality self. Much … More Enchanted by the Past: Caught In The Perpetual Waves Of Grief
I would like to honor my mom’s memory today. It has been eight years since she passed away beautifully and on her own terms in hospice care at the age of 83. I was blessed to be by her side when her spirit peacefully left her body. I can say with certainty that it was … More Missing Mom on Mother’s Day
Lets imagine for a moment if you can, that this is a deep dive into the pool of Surender. We need to give ourselves over to this experience fully and completely. It is what our soul requires and is asking for. It will accept no less than our complete and total commitment to allowing grief … More The Pool of Surender: Allowing Grief To Have It’s Way With Us
I woke up from a sound sleep in a cold sweat, panic stricken the other night! I know I have said this before but starting a blog and sharing my first post is WAY out of my comfort zone. I got out of bed, it was the middle of the night all was still and quite … More Moving Through Grief: One Step Forward Two Steps Back
This day marks the fourth year anniversary of my beloved Claude who took his life on April 19, 2012. Anniversaries are always tough when we have lost someone we love. There is no way around it. We can choose avoidance by keeping ourselves busy as one possible strategy or we can be with our pain … More Four Years Since Claude’s Suicide