Photo by: Cara Hope ClarkToday would have been Claude’s 65th birthday. Happy would have been Birthday Claude!When we fell in love and got married, our plan was to grow old together. See our son evolve and grow as he emerged into adulthood…best laid plans.But as we all know, our constant companion is change. There is … More Best Laid Plans
Last week I was standing in my kitchen when my heart sank as I remembered that February 28, 2018 will be the ten-year anniversary of my moms’ passing. I also realized that both mom and Claude died in leap years, what are the chances! Tears instantly filled my eyes and I soon found myself sobbing. … More Remembering Mom After Ten Years
On inauguration day we watched as the 45th president of the United States was being sworn in. Many of us cried, experiencing deep despair, disbelief, fear, anger and yes, grief. We may have been thinking, (and still thinking) “can this really be happening”? Are we living in an alternate or parallel universe? What are we … More The Ride of Our Lives: Parallels Between Grief and Political Change
I am releasing the pause button and returning to my writing practice. It has been over four weeks now since I wrote my last post: Claude’s Path to Suicide. I knew it would be hard, but writing that post was demanding and exhausting beyond what I had imagined. To write it, I had to go … More Releasing Resistance: The Way To Joy
Photo by: Bill Clark I have been lingering in some substantial resistance to recounting the story of what happened to my husband Claude. How did such a vibrant man who loved life, seemingly had it all and actually feared death to the core of his being arrive at such a desperate place that he felt suicide … More Claude’s Path To Suicide
Why anger? Is suicide seen as the ultimate form of betrayal? Is it that on the surface it appears that those who committed the act had a choice? I read a blog a few weeks ago in which the blogger’s condemnation of Robins William’s suicide was pretty apparent. My sense is that he is not … More The Intimate Link Between Anger and Suicide
Words have been circulating in my mind for the past couple of days, pleading with me to sit down and write. I have felt resistant for fear of how these words would be received and knowing that this post is deviating a bit from my established theme of sharing my story and grief support. But … More Reflections: We Are All One
With Independence Day upon us, it feels appropriate to crack the hatch wide open. Giving myself permission and the freedom to start revealing my thoughts and feelings as a suicide survivor and beginning to tell a more detailed account of my story relating to Claude’s death. I see this taking place over several blog posts; … More Claude’s Suicide: Freedom To Speak My Truth
I am remembering with such sweetness, my wedding day with Claude. Yesterday would have been our 21st wedding anniversary. That day was infused with anticipation, stunning clear blues skies on the coast of Northern CA, the sound of the crashing ocean waves below us as we said our wedding vows surrounded by an intimate group of family and … More Sweet Memories Of Our Wedding Day
No matter how you slice it, saying goodbye is never easy. It’s painful! We have many situations in our lives that require us to say goodbye to what has been familiar and most important to us. It can be a final goodbye as with death or at times it is just a change in the … More Saying Goodbye