Remembering Mom After Ten Years


Last week I was standing in my kitchen when my heart sank as I remembered that February 28, 2018 will be the ten-year anniversary of my moms’ passing. I also realized that both mom and Claude died in leap years, what are the chances! Tears instantly filled my eyes and I soon found myself sobbing. It seemed unthinkable that she had missed the past decade of my life. I thought about the milestone events that had taken place. Among others, the buying of our beautiful dream mountain home in Asheville, NC which she would have loved, my art shows, Claude’s suicide, our move to Boulder and seeing the new life we have created, Noah graduating from high school and starting college, starting this blog, working on my book, bearing witness to my deep transformation and personal growth in the past ten years.
It’s a lot when you stack it all up. Then it occurred to me that she has actually been with me all along. I have been so busy grieving the loss of Claude that she had fallen into the shadows. I tuned in and felt her close. She said she is with me always loving me just as she always has. I found comfort in this and have now vowed to start to include her more in my thoughts allowing her guidance and wisdom to come through from the other side.
She wrote me a note after Claude and I got married back in June of 1995. It is so special to me that I have kept it safely protected in a zip-lock bag. She was imparting her unconditional love and guidance as only she could. This is an excerpt: We are all different, some are clever, some are smart, some have an abundance of energy, some are cold and have no heart etc. You are a perfect and beautiful loving person, sensitive to others. Each morning, look for the beauty around you. Live each day to the fullest. The “powers” are around you, think positive, and give them a chance to work for you. Take each day at a time and experience the beauty of every moment and realize all your dreams.
So today I honor Thelma. My mom, who was in life and in death a powerful presence, always cheering me on. She taught me to never give up on myself and that we all have a core of inner strength and spiritual connection that guides us as we move through this life. Two of her favorite sayings were: “this too shall pass” and “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” These words have been a touchstone through my darkest hours ushering me into the light. In addition, witnessing the strength she harnessed in her life was an inspiration in my own that I will always treasure and be grateful for.
Are there any special memories or words of wisdom you received from your mom? If so I would love to hear from you in the comment section below.
With Love and gratitude,


~By Choosing to Heal after a significant loss we are setting the stage for our transformational journey through grief. In my FREE Guide: Ten Self-Care Practices While Grieving, I offer a road map to guide you through this most tender and challenging time of your lifes’ passage. To recieve my FREE Guide and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW my blog with my latest blog posts delivered directly to your inbox simply click on the SUBSCRIBE button at the upper right side of this page or below, depending on your device.

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21 thoughts on “Remembering Mom After Ten Years

  1. Didn’t realize how many tears I’ve been holding back for awhile. My mom, Ellen, died in January 2014. Gentle, healthy grief followed her passing, yet I’m reminded that it’s easier now to tuck it away and take it out when it feels safe. Her wisdom and spirit continue to shine a light for me even though her physical presence is gone. Like you, I feel incredibly blessed to have had her force shape me. Thank you for sharing your open heart, so I could re-open mine.

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  2. My mom is still with me, though she has dementia and has bad days. I always remember her being so proud of me (and still proud to this day). I am sorry for the loss of your mom. I am glad you have happy memories.


    1. Jill, I am grateful for your comment! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. There’s nothing like the feeling we get from our mom’s when they are proud of us. Since I have not had your experience I can only imagine that this process must be incredibly heartbreaking for you! Sending you much love! ❤


  3. A wonderful and touching tribute to our special mother. Even with all she when through, she always found the energy to guide us through life. She surely would be/is so very proud of all the strength you have shown over the past decade, and everything you have accomplished.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing, Kara. My Mom passed away 6 years ago this month, at the age of 96. It is hard to believe she has been gone as long as she has. My Mom and I did not have a good relationship from the beginning and through the majority of my life. Things changed the last 6-8 years of her life and I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. We laughed together, sang together, played cribbage right up until the last five months of her life. She out-lived all four of her sons, leaving just her two daughters. I am pretty sure that so much loss helped to bring us closer. She shows up often, and usually makes me smile, and it truly feels like she is right here with me. Thank you for inviting the sharing. Bless you,

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  5. My Mom passed 40+ years ago and she still visits me I can feel her presence. and we still have conversation even though we used to disagree on many subjects. WE loved each other, when I was young I prayed that I would be taken first as I couldn’t think how I would get along without her.

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  6. Your mom reminds me of my grandmother who passed away in 2013. She lived to 93. One of her family’s saying also was “this too shall pass”
    She along with my mother showed me so much unconditional love. I received the wisdom and respect to be a strong independent woman. They were both very caring and compassionate women. Very nurturing. As I got older my grandmother would tell me don’t push yourself too hard if you need to take care of yourself, because what you think you need to get done will wait. That really stuck with me. Self care and self love is very important. I learned that from both my mother and grandmother.


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